Man, I have had it bad the past few days. Roughly nine years ago I saw her. Nine...years...ago, and six since I ever saw her again. One of the most exquisite beauties in history! A girl I could actually have a future with, to where it didn't feel forced. But the cat and mouse got old, and I had to move on. I didn't want to, and think now that it's the greatest missed chance in dating history -- ever! I'm fine with most of what's turned out, even my failures, but this is the VERY ONE redo I would love make happen. So many memories that were never created, and all because of the ultra complex circumstances that prevented me from having the guts to pull in a girl who was out of my league.
And now I'm old. And now I find it hard to care at all about the mechanism of dating. And I am to blame. In a one-room studio apartment, no wife, and no kids. For lineage was went down the drain during those times. A confluence of events, did that. But I will never forget as long as I live the extreme beauty and all-around aura that I felt inside from second 1. Something primal. There is no telling if that will ever happen again, but it didn't happen in the first 30 years, so I will have to go another 30. But the odds then are nil. Too old, too many social circles disappear at that age, and so do looks.
To have missed a chance at greatness with her is the single greatest mistake of all time. Ego v. ego, and no one won. You sweet, arrogant, but lovely soul. I do hope you're happy, and there is no way we'll ever speak again. It went really bad(ly), and I'm sorry for that. I'll have to live with the regret the rest of my life. Seriously, though, I think of you often. Six years and it won't go away; like it was all yesterday. As if I have a chance to redo it in my head, even if that's the only chance I'm ever going to get.
Well, "that's life," as they say.
Wishing you could've been my SweetGirl,
Always,
MatchingMemory
